The Covenant Church celebrates and affirms the calling of women in all areas of ministry. This series highlights women serving in local churches and across the denomination—some shaping legacies, others just beginning their journeys.
As Milly Silencio reflects on her ministry, she says that she is learning more and more to trust God on every step of the journey.
She remembers when she first sensed a call to ministry as a teenager. Silencio says she was at a conference with her mom when the speaker called her out and gave her a prophetic word. “I went forward and she prayed over me,” Silencio said. “It was my pastoral calling.”
Despite that conviction, she had trepidations about the idea of church ministry. “I knew in my heart of hearts what that call meant,” Silencio said. But at the time, “I had such a heart for youth,” she explains. So she thought, “Maybe my pastoral calling at this moment is with youth.”
She eventually earned her master’s in pastoral studies from Alliance Theological Seminary in 2017. While at seminary, she served as volunteer staff with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship (IVCF) at Hunter College in New York City, her alma mater.
“It was such a great experience being there, watching our students grow, but also discerning for me, because I was considering [IVCF] staff,” Silencio says. In the end, although she loved working with students, “I felt like it wasn’t what God was calling me to do.”
It was in that season that Silencio began to realize the power of stories in ministry practice. She took a pastoral care class at Alliance that she says encouraged care that is descriptive, rather than prescriptive. When someone shares a story with her, for example, Silencio says that she may not be able to relate to that person’s circumstances. What she can do, however, is say to them, “I can tell you this story,” sharing her own experience in a way that might help that person discern their own next steps.
When she first openly shared her story, revealing her status at the time as an undocumented immigrant, Silencio saw a significant ministry impact. It was a difficult decision, one that she made in consultation with family and others whom she knew she might inadvertently put at risk. But her family encouraged her. “They were tired of hearing these anti-immigrant stories,” Silencio recalled, and they believed her story would help push back against what is often disproportionately negative coverage of immigrant life and activity.
“Most immigrant communities—for me, I can speak for the Latino community—we never really tell our stories to anyone outside of our communities,” Silencio said. Going public with her story went against the instincts she had developed growing up in the United States, having left Peru at just three years old. But Silencio said, “I saw that this was what God wanted in this season due to the response I received, even from other students.”
Sandi Lee, associate superintendent for the East Coast Conference, recognizes Silencio’s ability to use her story in ministry. “She’s a gifted storyteller, someone who is sympathetic and empathetic,” Lee said, adding that Silencio helps other people “to feel that they are not alone in their journey and can connect with her.”
For some of her students, Silencio says her story offered context as they wrestled with other issues of faith and justice. For others, it helped them to discern whether or not to open up about their own undocumented status.
Through it all, Silencio herself found encouragement and comfort in another story: the biblical story of Esther revealing her Jewish heritage to her husband the king and to governing authorities who were persecuting her people. Silencio could identify with the story of concealment until it was the right time to reveal the truth. She also reflects on Jesus’s entreaty to “let your light shine before others” in Matthew 5:16. “’Let your light not be hidden.’ That was very true to my story,” Silencio said.
Silencio found her way to the Covenant in 2019 when she served as a discipleship and executive pastor at Reconcile Brooklyn, a Covenant church plant in New York City. That opportunity caused her to remember her first ministry call a decade earlier. “God reminded me of that day, of that calling,” Silencio said. She had been considering returning to her previous field of work in higher education, but those doors seemed closed to her. Finally, Silencio says she told God that she was ready to do, not what she wanted but what God wanted. Reconcile called that same night.
“I had a feeling God would send me to a church plant, and that’s exactly what he did,” she said.
Silencio is thankful for the conference staff and Committee on Ministerial Standing (COMS) as she pursues ordination. “I’m grateful for their love, their support, and their prayers,” she says. They were also understanding about her uncertain residency situation and the possibility that she might have to leave unexpectedly. “They encouraged my ministry context to be creative if that ever happened,” Silencio said. The church could find ways for Silencio to continue to serve, even if it had to be from afar. “That blessed me so much because it made me feel like I was without borders in mission within me.”
According to Lee, when it comes to supporting undocumented people who are called to ministry—even those who may be legally employable, such as through Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA), like Silencio at the time—it can be difficult for churches or denominations to think through how to make that work. “A lot of people are reluctant to engage, and they ask, ‘What will be the legal ramifications?’” Lee explained.
In Silencio’s case, Lee credits COMS for supporting her as they recognized her call to ministry. “I think to receive particular affirmation from COMS really helped her to see dreams can be realized,” Lee said.
Looking back on her experience, Silencio says it has been a revelation to realize how God was at work in ways she didn’t notice at the time. “God, you really had this journey for me. Now I understand,” she said, sounding slightly awestruck.
Silencio now coaches church planters in the East Coast Conference and serves as an assistant site director with Immigrant Connection. But some of her biggest ministry questions come from being a new mom—with a second baby on the way.
“What does it look like to be a mother theologian?” Silencio wonders. “How do you do ministry when you’re raising a family?” We can only imagine the stories Silencio will tell one day of how God answers those questions along the way.
